Kesiena Boom, M.S.


February 23, 2023

Kesiena Boom, M.S.

By Kesiena Boom, M.S.

mbg Contributor

Kesiena Boom, M.S., is a sociologist and writer. She has a bachelor’s degree in Sociology from the University of Manchester and a master’s degree in Gender Studies from Lund University.

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February 23, 2023

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Having a crush is honestly just one of the best feelings in the world. Like, you can just think about them? All the time? For free? Amazing.

But what happens when you want to take the crush from fantasy to reality and let the object of your affection know about your feelings? If you’re looking for the best way to let a guy know you’re into him, look no further—we have a bunch of tips on how to tell him you like him and even some text templates for you to use.


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Just tell him directly.

Sometimes, simple is best. You could just go for it. “Be completely upfront and tell him how you feel about him,” recommends relationship coach Niki Davis-Fainbloom. Follow it up by explaining exactly what you like about him and what you want to do about it, she says. That is: Do you want to make out? Go on a date?

If saying it straight up feels a bit intimidating, then showing your crush you’re into him through actions might be more appealing. For example, says Davis-Fainbloom, you can prioritize spending time with him, give light physical attention, and see what his verbal and non-verbal responses are like. “If the response is positive, perhaps go in for a kiss if the moment feels right,” she says.

(Here are all the signs a guy likes you, by the way.)


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Compliments, compliments, compliments.

“A lot of why we choose a partner is because it feels good to be around that person,” explains sex therapist Heather Shannon, LCPC. Compliments are a great way to show you admire him on some level and to help him feel uplifted around you.

You could tell him he’s looking good in that fit, that you always have fun with him, or something deeper like you appreciate how dedicated he is to personal growth. The point is to convey that you’re noticing him and specifically noticing his strengths, she says.

Asking for help is a great way to test if someone’s invested enough to give their time to you. “See if he’s willing to help you install your new closet organizer system or give you feedback on your latest business venture,” says Shannon. Afterwards, you can offer to buy him dinner or drinks to say thank you and use that time to figure out if there’s a mutual spark before making a move.

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I’m dropping hints that I’m single…

Make like Kim K and drop some hints! Being flirty and suggestive can be a good way to show interest. For example, suggests Shannon, “Wait for a topic to come up that you can piggyback on. Let’s say hookups come up in a group conversation. You could say something like ‘I wouldn’t mind hooking up with a hot guy. Maybe someone _____ & _____.’ Insert his qualities in the blanks. Make sure you pick something he’ll understand refers to him. Think ‘someone with a PhD and a cute dog’ rather than ‘someone hot and funny.’”

If you need more flirting tips, we have a whole guide on how to flirt like a natural.


Use the power of touch.

“A big part of what differentiates platonic relationships from romantic ones is touch,” says Shannon. “Keep it light and playful at first, like tapping or playfully punching his arm as you’re talking. This will convey flirting, and it will open the door to him playfully touching you back, which could indicate mutual interest.”

However, it’s important to keep in mind that some people are just very tactile, and some people absolutely aren’t. Don’t use a lack of or presence of touch as your only gauge of how interested someone is.


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“At the deepest level, people usually want to be seen and cared about,” says sex and relationship coach Celeste Hirschman. “One way to show someone that you really like them is to listen deeply to what they say and remember things about them – their life, their family, or their future plans.”

Find a way to work into the conversation the things they told you; this can be another really good way to demonstrate interest in someone. If they remark upon your good memory, you can say something flirty, like, “I only remember what really cute people tell me” or something similar.

If your crush is into some light competition, then it can be super flirty if you suggest a game of pool or mini-golf or something similar, says Hirschman. Of course, if you find yourself losing, you can always ask your crush for help with your technique, and see if they stand closer to you than is strictly necessary while they correct your grip…


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The bottom line is that no matter how you choose to tell someone you’re into them, it’s important to be respectful of their feelings and boundaries. “Make sure you’re not pressuring them or making them feel uncomfortable,” says sex therapist Aliyah Moore. Be aware of the signals that your crush sends out with their words and their body. (And read this if you think you’ve been “friend zoned.”)

How to tell a guy you like him over text:

Sometimes it might feel easier to take the plunge and express interest in your crush via the medium of texting. A text can be as curated and careful as you like, and it’s a great way to make sure that you get across your point without getting flustered. Here, we’ve asked our experts to construct some examples of texts you can shoot off to your crush to let him know you’re into him. Feel free to adjust them to suit your needs.

  • “Hey, want to go check out this local band with me? I think you’d like them since we have similarly excellent taste in music (wink face)”
  •  “You’re such an amazing person. I’m kind of into you. Any chance you’re into me too?”
  • “Just saw _____ and thought of you. You’re so talented at ______.” For example, “Just went to the art festival downtown and thought of you. You’re such a talented artist (blushing face).”
  • “Just thinking of you. Hope you’re having a wonderful day. Let’s hang out soon—I miss your face! (hug or kiss emoji depending on your level of boldness that day)”.
  • “Ok I’ll admit it.. I’m crushing on you. How do you feel?”
  • “Hey handsome/beautiful/sexy/hottie/cutie (fire emoji), how was your day?”
  • “I’m really enjoying spending time with you. Can I be real for a sec? I think I’m feeling more than friendship vibes. Where’s your head at?”
  • “I know this might seem out of the blue, but I just had to tell you that I think you’re absolutely incredible. I’d love to explore where things could go between us. Are you interested in going out with me sometime?”


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What if he reacts weirdly or rejects me?

The most important thing to keep in mind when faced with rejection is that it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. “Try to think of it more like two people not being compatible with each other,” emphasizes Davis-Fainbloom.

Thank your crush for their honesty and have a quick discussion about how to move on. Do you want to take some space for a bit? Pretend that the conversation never happened? Check in again after X weeks? Only hang out in groups for a bit until the crush flames have died down?

“If the person needs some space, give it to them. Don’t keep reaching out or trying to engage with them if they’ve made it clear they’re not interested. It’s important to respect their boundaries,” says Moore.

Feel free to send long, dramatic voice notes to your friends about how it stings to get rejected, but also tell your friends to tell you to (kindly) help you pull yourself together if you let yourself wallow in the pain for too long. A failed crush isn’t a breakup, and it’s best not to let yourself think about “what could have been” for more than a couple of weeks. Throw yourself into something else and keep it moving along. A new crush will be along sooner than you think.


How do you tell a guy you like him without getting rejected?

Unfortunately, declaring interest in someone always comes with a chance of rejection. But that shouldn’t stop you. If he’s no into you, that’s his loss, and you’ll find someone who wants you for you.

Should I confess my feelings to him?

Yes! You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. But also, don’t say anything if there’s a really good reason not to (i.e., he’s in a monogamous relationship, he’s your best friend’s ex, or a relationship wouldn’t be feasible for other reasons). For reference, here are signs of attraction you can look out for, vs. signs he doesn’t want a relationship.

The takeaway.

Having a crush is one of life’s great pleasures, and letting someone know that you’re into them can be the start of something beautiful. So be bold and send that risky text today!

You never know where it might lead.