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Compartmentalization is common in relationships when we try to put certain thoughts aside in order to make the relationship work. For example, you may have once said you would never date someone who didn’t share the same political beliefs as you but then conveniently make an exception when your partner says something you don’t agree with.

As clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D., previously explained to mbg, compartmentalization is often used in relationships in the hope that the problem will go away, though this usually only leads to a buildup of resentment.

And while sometimes compartmentalization is necessary to a degree (which we’ll touch on later), by and large, it can create a toxic relationship when leaned on in excess, because you’re inadvertently—or sometimes even consciously—avoiding the truth about what you think or how you feel.

Additionally, Swart tells mbg, “People with personality disorders such as borderline or narcissism tend to have less empathy for others, so they can compartmentalize the impact of their actions on others even if they have caused them harm.”

Most of us have likely experienced compartmentalization through work. As Torrent explains, think about the “you” that shows up to work: You probably lean on certain traits more than others to better serve you while you’re working, or maybe you put aside your more argumentative streak, act friendlier than usual, etc.

“There is a specific part of your personality that comes out when you perform the tasks related to your job. Your work self probably has a distinctive feel, maybe even a specific way of thinking,” Torrent says, adding, “This part of you moves in the world in a particular way that might feel different from other sides of you that show up in your personal life.”

Cognitive dissonance, or “the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change,” is bound to come up in our daily lives from time to time. And when we can’t handle cognitive dissonance, sometimes we compartmentalize as a defense mechanism.

As research in the journal Social and Personality Psychology Compass notes, there is evidence that “Compartmentalization is associated with several indicators of a defensive, fragile self, such as contingent self-esteem and unstable self-evaluations.” The study authors add that individuals who are like this are also likely to “engage in defensive processes that enhance or protect the self.”

So, in daily life, think of any time recently you’ve tried to preserve your sense of self following an instance of conflicting thoughts or beliefs. One ubiquitous example of compartmentalization is the way humans compartmentalize animals for food, versus animals as pets. As research in the journal Analyses of Social Issues and Public Policies explains, people have a number of “justifying beliefs” used in order to avoid any “negative emotional outcomes felt when eating meat.”

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Rationalizing certain things

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Different behavior in different settings and/or with different people

It’s important to note that everyone has the capacity to compartmentalize to a degree, and particularly when you’re dealing with extenuating circumstances, according to both Swart and Torrent.

“The reality is, everyone compartmentalizes to some degree, every day, all of the time,” Torrent explains. However, he adds, “Within addiction, narcissism, and trauma, these individuals tend to engage in behaviors that go against their values, beliefs, relationships and morals, which often leads to cognitive dissonance and compartmentalization.”

Addiction is especially pertinent here, because it is often accompanied by guilt and shame. Both of those feelings (even outside the context of addiction) must be “locked in a compartment of their minds,” in order to avoid them and any subsequent change, Torrent tells mbg.

In the case of trauma or PTSD, however, compartmentalization is an effective defense in managing the thoughts and feelings associated with traumatic experiences. “After a trauma, either systemic or acute, upsetting memories are often compartmentalized as the nervous system attempts to reach equilibrium,” Torrent explains, adding, “If, however, these experiences are not de-compartmetalized, brought out, and then processed therapeutically, they can be activated or ‘triggered‘ causing the sufferer to cascade into a post-traumatic stress response such as a panic attack or overwhelming anxiety.”

We’ll also note here that there is evidence that the male brain may be more inclined to compartmentalize. As clinical neuroscientist psychiatrist Daniel Amen, M.D., previously wrote for mbg, there’s an area in the frontal lobes of the brain called the ACG, which helps you shift attention and recognize errors. Higher activity in the ACG “increases the tendency to get stuck on negative thoughts or negative behaviors and to see what is wrong rather than what is right,” he explains—and that increased activity is more commonly observed in the female brain.

Compartmentalization can be useful when you’re dealing with a particularly difficult time. As Swart tells mbg, “Sometimes compartmentalizing is healthy if we need to carry on with the day job and demands of life, but there is something troubling in the background.”

That doesn’t mean, however, that it won’t eventually need to be dealt with. “Through time and maybe with the help of a therapist, the issue needs to be integrated for full healing,” Swart adds.

In addition to healing, there is something to be said about excessive worry. As Amen explains, if you’re unable to compartmentalize, “busy brains and associative thinking powers kick in, which means one worrisome idea quickly connects with others to build momentum that can snowball out of control. The worry that is so useful in small doses can stress [you out] to the point where it hurts the brain and body and won’t allow for rest.”

To that end, Torrent says, compartmentalization, when done with awareness, can be healthy and adaptive. “When someone is attempting to learn something new, going out on a date, or giving a big presentation, many feel fear, lack of confidence, and a paralyzing sense of being a fraud. Without awareness, we can become trapped in that fraudulent state,” he explains. But when you can recognize the tricks your mind is playing and “move out of that aspect of our minds and into ‘parts of self’ that might be better suited to the task at hand,” you’re compartmentalizing in a positive way.

Ultimately, the biggest key here is cultivating awareness to recognize when and how you’re compartmentalizing. “Then we can take responsibility for our conflicting behaviors and work to healthily deal with the anxiety they provoke,” Torrent says.